UNIT 001ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI
THE ORIGINAL
STANDARD.
11DAYS
White House communications director, July 2017. An entire internet unit, in less than two weeks.
Communications director. The press secretary had a different business card.
LIVE / THE 2026 MIDTERMS
NOVEMBER 3 IS ONLY
—
SCARAMUCCIS AWAY.
Calculating…IN BORING UNITS.
TIME FLIES. STAFF TOO.
Clock ends Nov. 3, 2026 at 12:00 a.m. Eastern. A date marker. Your local polling hours vary.
LESSON 01 / POLITICAL ARITHMETIC
THE TRAVEL-SIZE UNIT.
ALMOST HALF A SCARAMUCCI. MATH IS CRUEL.
5 ÷ 11 = 0.4545
1 SCARAMUCCI 11 DAYS✳1 ZACHARIA 5 DAYS✳1 TRUSS 49 DAYS
02 / APPLIED POLITICAL ARITHMETIC
DO THE
MOOCH MATH.
A deadline. A vacation. A very short career.
Everything is a unit if you commit to the bit.
THE CONVERSION MACHINE
Zero to one billion. Even this calculator has limits.
11 days =
1 Scaramucci
A complete communications strategy.
03 / YOUR CAST OF CONSTANTS
MEET THE
SHORT TIMERS.
Real people. Reported tenures.
An entirely unnecessary measuring system.
UNIT 001THE ORIGINAL
UNIT 002KATIE ZACHARIA
THE COMPACT
EDITION.
5DAYS
White House press secretary, October 12–16, 2026. Five reported days. An efficient new denomination.
1 Zacharia = 0.4545 Scaramuccis.
UNIT 003LIZ TRUSS
THE EXTENDED
WARRANTY.
49DAYS
UK prime minister, September 6–October 25, 2022. A whole 4.4545 Scaramuccis.
The Truss remains 49 days in both counting modes.
FOR CANDIDATES WITH LONGER CALENDAR INVITES
THE TERMS OF EMPLOYMENT.
| THE ASSIGNMENT | THE COMMITMENT | IN SCARAMUCCIS |
|---|---|---|
| House of Representatives | 2 years | 66.41 |
| The presidency | 4 years | 132.82 |
| U.S. Senate | 6 years | 199.22 |
Nominal conversions use 365.2425 days per year. Actual terms depend on calendar dates. Surviving the group chat is extra.
04 / THE DEPARTMENT OF PEDANTRY
CALIBRATE YOUR SCARAMUCCI
11DAYS
PEDANT MODE
Use the ten-day date difference.
Standard issue: 11 calendar dates, July 21–31, 2017. Switch on pedant mode for the ten-day date difference. Zacharia stays at the reported five-day convention.
5 ÷ 11 = ALMOST HALF.
THE SOURCES & COUNTING CONVENTIONS +
Scaramucci: communications director, not press secretary. We use the familiar 11-day convention. PBS’s July 31, 2017 reporting uses 11 days; ABC’s timeline explains the July 21–31 dates and later formal start.
Zacharia: five reported days, October 12–16, 2026, inclusive. See the dated tenure reporting. Pedant mode changes only the Scaramucci denominator; these are defined joke units, not exact hours worked.
Truss: 49 elapsed days, September 6–October 25, 2022. Her first speech and final speech establish the endpoints.
Midterms: November 3, 2026, per the Federal Election Commission. The clock ends at the start of that date in U.S. Eastern time, not at poll closing. Find official local voting information.
Terms: two, four, and six years for House, president, and Senate respectively. U.S. Constitution, Articles I and II. Year-based conversions are approximate.
WHO’S BEHIND THE CLIPBOARD? +
An independent satire project from MyndMeld. The Department of Pedantry is fictional. No affiliation with any government, candidate, or person named here.
The portraits are AI-generated editorial pixel caricatures based on public portrait references from SkyBridge, Katie Zacharia’s public profile, and Liz Truss’s official portrait. They are illustrations, not photographs. Truss reference photo: Simon Dawson / No. 10 Downing Street, Crown copyright, Open Government Licence v3.0.
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Satire is better when the denominator checks out.